An Open Letter to Parents with Kids interested in Martial Arts
When I was a child I wanted, deep within my core, to know martial arts. Martial arts as I saw it through -magazines, the back of comic books, or VHS tapes in the General Store. Martial arts embodied everything I sought and needed as a small person in this great big world - Confidence. Self-defense skills. Strength. The ability to equalize the playing field.
I was being bullied routinely in the neighborhood, school, and at home. I was often outmatched by someone else’s size and strength. Spirit just wasn’t enough to win battles most of the time. The methods and art of self-defense, at least from where I stood, offered hope for my small, and weary heart.
Unfortunately, there were no martial arts schools for 10’s of miles within our vicinity. By the time I lived close enough to a martial arts gym, I was working, going to school, and trying all I could to not draw the attention of current or pending bullies.
Thus, I never had the chance to undertake this endeavor as a child; when it would have benefited me in my trials and tribulations. It was not until I was an adult before I experienced the life changing benefits of martial arts. The power it holds in enabling us as individuals.
If I sought these life altering skills as a child, I am quite sure there are other children out there today that want the same things, and for the same reasons.
As I later became a coach/instructor myself, I followed the trends and examples of other kids martial arts programs across the nation. I fashioned my own kids training in a like manner, thinking this is what I had to do to be successful. To keep kids coming back. Even though I did not believe in it. And deep down it sickened me. I did this for years.
Eventually I quit teaching kids because I could not wrestle myself to continue on this path. It all seemed so phony. Years passed by and I focused solely on adults and teens. It still gnawed at me though. Kids should benefit from real martial arts training that they want, and/or need.
Never satisfied with the results or sticking with the status quo, I asked myself the following questions as I looked around at kids martial arts classes all over the nation:
Why are kids playing dodgeball, tag, and being chased/beaten with pool noodles in martial arts classes?
Why aren't children learning real skills that can empower them? Help them grow stronger, build character, gain confidence, and develop positive self-worth?
Are we as instructors providing a real service to the youth in our communities? Or just offering afterschool care with costumes?
I realized that these concepts and approaches were highly flawed. What we were doing as instructors was certainly was not what attracted me to martial arts as a child. Then and there, I set out to change things.
I went back to the drawing board and modeled my classes to be more in line with what was found in boxing, wrestling, judo, jiu-jitsu, and other martial arts that focus on empowering kids, rather than entertaining them.
The results speak for themselves. As can be seen by reviews of my program written by actual parents and kids alike. Yes, my classes have structure, respect, and discipline. Not because these are cool industry catchphrases for parents to sign their kids up for my classes, rather because these are necessary tenets to build the framework for a safe training environment. An environment where real skills are being taught.
Mutual respect and self-control are ingrained in the team to keep one another safe while helping one another learn to protect ourselves, and grow stronger. I treat kids with respect. I entrust them with powerful knowledge. I appreciate how intelligent they are even at a young age, and I encourage them to use these attributes in their team training.
My coaches follow in step. Our classes have a positive atmosphere with instructor guidance, not lecture, dogma, and lip service. I believe kids should have the freedom to express themselves, to create, and to help one another grow.
Children are provided time to work with one another solving problems and learning from their mistakes. The older more experienced kids help their newer and younger teammates. Thereby increasing their own understanding and gaining responsibility themselves.
If this sounds like a good environment, what you would like your child to be involved in, then I am happy to have them among the ranks of my team and look forward to meeting you soon.
Randy Brown
Head Instructor
RECENT UPDATE - SEPT 2022
Recently we ran an adult Mountain Training Camp in a resort destination in the mountains of New Hampshire, USA. Our first day of training outdoors in a field, we had a visitor.
The following is an excerpt of an actual conversation between an adult martial artist present at the camp who I will call Carl; Carl taught 1000’s of kids martial arts over the past decade, and a 10 year old girl who I will call Tammy. Tammy has 1+ years of Kids Karate experience.
Coach Carl: Tammy, what’s your favorite thing about Karate?
Tammy: Dodgeball!
